Ideas As Objects

Developing perspective often means creating a psychological distance between the observer and the observed.

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Many paths toward awareness; from contemplative traditions to systems thinking to somatic sensing, share a common insight: we are not our thoughts, and we are not the situation we are in. Developing perspective often means creating a psychological distance between the observer and the observed. It's a move that shows up again and again, described differently in different disciplines, but pointing to the same shift.

Let’s touch on three.

First, Internal Family Systems (IFS), developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, offers one of the most accessible and modern frames for navigating this kind of inner distancing. At its core, IFS assumes we are not a singular, solid self. Instead, we are made up of parts, each with a role, voice, and story. Awareness in this model is the ability to observe these parts with curiosity, not collapse into them.

Second, Ethan Kross’s book Chatter speaks to the everyday utility of psychological distancing. He calls out a simple tactic: talk to yourself in the third person. It’s a small linguistic move that can return you to a sense of agency when self-talk gets noisy. Rather than saying, “Why can’t I get this right?” try “Why is Ethan struggling with this right now?” That naming helps restore a little air between you and the emotion.

Third, in Buddhist practice, especially through the teachings of Pema Chödrön, we’re reminded that space is not just a mental construct. It’s a compassionate one. In Tonglen, for example, the practice is to breathe in the suffering of others and breathe out relief. This may sound counterintuitive, but it’s a move of radical connection. You learn to hold pain without collapsing into it. To stay with suffering, not by merging or fixing, but by expanding your capacity to include it.

In this way, psychological distance becomes a loving presence. Not cold detachment, but warm spaciousness. Pema often teaches that “you are the sky, everything else, it’s just the weather.” That’s the move: instead of becoming the storm, you witness it. You become the one who holds it.

This links, too, to Metta meditation, the Buddhist practice of extending loving-kindness in widening circles. From self, to friend, to stranger, to enemy. You don’t do this by fusing with their experience. You do it by recognising that you can care, from a place of inner stillness.

Years ago, I created a simple but powerful process for abstracting ideas, now core to our Business School. We call it the Pink Sheet. It helps experts turn lived and learned experience into commercial intellectual property. While it began as a visual thinking tool, over time it became something more: a method for creating useful distance from our own expertise.

This move, being able to stand apart from what you’re in, is a strategic and spiritual skill. In leadership literature, it's captured in the metaphor of “the balcony and the dance.” The 2002 paper by Ronald Heifetz and Donald Laurie, published in Harvard Business Review, puts it like this:

“The only way to gain both a clearer view of reality and some perspective on the bigger picture is to get off the dance floor and onto the balcony.”

It’s the same insight as the phrase “can’t see the forest for the trees.” The implication being: change your vantage point, and you’ll see what’s really going on.

In Think, I wrote about the structure of a Pink Sheet and how ideas can be held, shaped, and delivered. You can download a copy here. In that book and in the Business School, we work with IP assets using three core lenses.

The first is Application. Where did the idea first arise? What context brought it to life? Most ideas are born in a specific situation, real estate, parenting, banking, education. Or they emerge through a delivery mode, speech, article, workshop. If you capture it well, you can apply it elsewhere. That’s how you scale delivery without losing depth.

The second is Abstraction. This is about working top-down. Start with the insight, the governing idea, the meta-frame. Then drop into the examples. When you begin bottom-up, your ideas often stay stuck to their source. When you build top-down, you unlock range and transferability.

The third is Stacking. Don’t chase novelty for its own sake. Many strong ideas are reframes, refinements, or rediscoveries. Originality sits further up the value stack. Before you get there, pass through relevance, thoroughness, and elegance. Stack value, and uniqueness often emerges as a byproduct.

Shifting perspective is more than just a mental process, it’s a foundational leadership move, for those of us in the business of thinking clearly and serving powerfully. 

Warmly,

PS. I’m working on a series of posts around shifting mindsets so we can get more great thinkers out in the world, adding value and getting rewarded for their work.  Let me know what are the obstacles that get in the way of you starting or improving your Thought Leaders Black Belt Practice.

References:

Internal Family Systems (IFS)
• Author: Richard C. Schwartz
• Concept: Multiplicity of mind; observing inner “parts” with compassion
• Book: No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
• Harvard: Schwartz, R.C., 2021. No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
• Link: https://ifs-institute.com

Psychological Distancing and Self-Talk
• Author: Ethan Kross
• Concept: Third-person self-talk and emotional regulation
• Book: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
• Harvard: Kross, E., 2021. Chatter: The voice in our head, why it matters, and how to harness it. New York: Crown Publishing.
Kross, E. et al., 2014. Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), pp.304–324.
• Link: https://www.ethankross.com

Compassionate Distance in Buddhist Practice
• Author: Pema Chödrön
• Concept: Tonglen, Metta, holding suffering with loving spaciousness
• Book: When Things Fall Apart (1997), The Places That Scare You (2002)
• Harvard: Chödrön, P., 1997. When things fall apart: Heart advice for difficult times. Boston: Shambhala.
Chödrön, P., 2002. The places that scare you: A guide to fearlessness in difficult times. Boston: Shambhala.
• Link: https://pemachodronfoundation.org

Leadership Perspective and the ‘Balcony and the Dance’
• Author: Ronald Heifetz and Donald Laurie
• Concept: Observing the system from above while still engaged in it
• Book: The Work of Leadership, Harvard Business Review (2001)
• Harvard: Heifetz, R.A. and Laurie, D.L., 2001. The work of leadership. Harvard Business Review, [online] December.
• Link: https://hbr.org/2001/12/the-work-of-leadership

Metta Meditation and Lovingkindness
• Author: Sharon Salzberg
• Concept: Expanding compassion in widening circles
• Book: Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
• Harvard: Salzberg, S., 1995. Lovingkindness: The revolutionary art of happiness. Boston: Shambhala Publications.
• Link: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com

Taoist Framing of Spaciousness and Flow
• Author: Laozi
• Concept: Yielding as strength; non-interference; the Way
• Book: Tao Te Ching (Stephen Mitchell, Ursula K. Le Guin translations)
• Harvard: Laozi, 1988. Tao Te Ching: A new English version. New York: HarperPerennial.
Laozi, 1997. Tao Te Ching: A book about the way and the power of the way. Boston: Shambhala.
• Link: https://www.shambhala.com/lao-tzu-tao-te-ching-1888.html

Broader Framing on Psychological Distance
• Author: Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky
• Concept: Context framing, proximity bias, slow thinking
• Book: Thinking, Fast and Slow
• Harvard: Kahneman, D., 2011. Thinking, fast and slow. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
• Link: https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-and-Slow/dp/0374533555

Emotional Construction and Predictive Feeling
• Author: Lisa Feldman Barrett
• Concept: Emotions as constructed experiences based on prediction
• Book: How Emotions Are Made
• Harvard: Barrett, L.F., 2017. How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
• Link: https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com

Thought Leadership and Abstraction
• Author: Matt Church
• Concept: Pink Sheets, IP structuring, abstraction lenses
• Book: Think: Create, Package and Deliver Brilliant Ideas
• Harvard: Church, M., 2013. Think: Create, package and deliver brilliant ideas. Sydney: Thought Leaders Publishing.
• Link: https://thoughtleaders.com.au/tlp